Utah Valley Marathon

Yesterday I ran my first full marathon.  Running a marathon has been on my wish list for many years, and finally my body held up through all the training to make it to the start line healthy.

I'll just cut to the chase, this was one of the hardest, most painful things I've ever done.  And things did not go as well as I had hoped.  It was kinda feeling like all the things I was afraid could go wrong, did go wrong.

Me and Marci at the start line.  Smiling.  There wasn't much smiling after that.

The day started for me at 2am.  That was what time I needed to get up to be out the door to pick up my friend Marci and be to downtown Provo to catch the bus to the start line.  We got to the start line at about 4am.  Thankfully it wasn't too terribly cold, and they also had tons of fires set up that we all gathered around to stay warm. The 6am start time came surprisingly fast and we were off.  This race is a net downhill, but there are several pretty killer climbs on the way down.  The first 6 or 7 miles our goal was to just stay on our goal pace and not let the down hill carry us too fast.  We managed to do great at staying on pace till mile 7, and then we had our first major climb.  It was nearly two miles climbing up.  Obviously we slowed down a bit, but held on pretty good.  It was at about this point that fear number one started to come true.  Stomach troubles.  I've had a very sensitive stomach when it comes to eating while running.  I've tried all the typical fuels (Gu's, Shot Blocks, etc) and they all have given my trouble, so I was going into the race just hoping that I could keep it together enough to make it to the finish line.  But it was about mile 9 or 10 where I really was having to choke down any fuel, and my stomach was starting to cramp pretty bad.  I held on to about mile 15, but then things really started to get hard.  My stomach was really angry, and because I had stopped eating because I was having so much stomach pain I completely fell apart.  Our pace slowed, I was having to stop at the aid stations to use the port-a-potties, my legs were heavy and after every walk break or stop, it was a million times harder to get them moving again.

I'll be honest, I wanted to quit badly.  Physically I was definitely in pain, but mentally I was in a pretty dark place.  Being 10 miles from the finish and feeling absolutely beat was really defeating.  The only reason that I kept going was because of Marci.  She was there with me every step of the way, cheering me on, trying to pump me up.  I'm so grateful for everything she did for me. She was AMAZING, absolutely amazing for all the encouragement, and putting up with my whining.  At every aid station she'd try to get me to eat something or drink some Power-aid, but I just couldn't stomach even the idea of putting anything but water in my tummy.  So we continued to plug along, and take walk breaks and slowly make our way to the finish.  At mile 21, Marci's husband and kids were there cheering us on.  This was were we'd finally gotten out of the canyon, and it was just making our way through Provo to the finish line.  Cam had planned to bring the kids to finish area to see us there, so as our pace slowed, and I knew my goal time was not gonna happen, I'd text Cam with a new estimated time to expect me near the finish.

Finally, we could see the finish line.  We were still about 1.5 miles away, but it really helped to see the finish, and watch it slowly get closer and closer.  Cam had texted me to tell me he was about a block before the finish, so I just started counting down the blocks till I'd see them.  The race finished very close to Cam's parents place, so he picked up his parents so they could help him with kids while waiting at the finish.  Finally I saw Cam's mom.  She must have walked up a little bit ahead of the rest of them to get a picture or something, but when I saw her, I just fell apart.  It was kind of one of those "I just want my Mommy" moments, and since my own Mom wasn't there she was the next best thing.  I nearly collapsed in her arms.  She was trying to get me to keep moving, so she held onto my arms and walked/ran with me a little bit till I got moving again.  Then she moved back to the sidewalk and Marci and I made it the half a block more to where Cam and the kids were.  Once again, I nearly collapsed on Cameron.  The girls were so excited to see me and jumping up and down, giving me high fives.  I was openly balling, and a complete mess at this point.  I still had another block or so to go to the finish, so we got going again to officially be done.  Marci was cheering me on and telling me that this was what we'd worked so hard for, and finally, finally, we crossed the finish.  I hugged Marci, and slowly walked my way to where I could sit down and take my shoes off.

I had no idea how badly running that marathon would hurt, or how difficult it was going to be.  I finished no where near my goal time, but I know without a doubt that I gave it everything I had.  I ran nearly 13 miles with little to no fuel, and my stomach rebelled terribly nearly the whole way.  In fact, even a day later, I'm still having a hard time eating.

I have so many mixed emotions about the whole thing.  It was hard, really hard.  I am very disappointed in my time, and having a hard time getting past that disappointment to just being proud of actually finishing a marathon.  I'm feeling frustrated, grateful, embarrassed, and of course I'm incredibly sore.

Marci was so awesome.  I'm so glad I had a friend to be with me through the whole thing.  She was doing her best to get me to the finish.  I know she could have run it a lot faster, and I'm so glad that she stuck by my side.

Cam was awesome to bring the kids out, and wait, and wait and wait for me to finish.  And then, even after we got home, he took care of the kids so I could lay down and sleep for a little bit, he made dinner, bathed the kids and everything before he had to head to work last night.

Cam's parents were amazing for their help with at the finish line.  After the race, we went to their place so I could get cleaned up and into some clean clothes.  They were trying to do any and everything they could think of to help, and get me whatever I needed.  I feel so lucky to be surrounded by loving, supportive friends and family.

I have no idea what's next as far as running goes.  Running a marathon, just like childbirth, requires time for the memory of the whole event to fade before you're crazy enough to even think of doing it all over again :)