My Little Tender Mercy

Let me start by painting you a picture of my day. 

The last week or so, Lexi's sleep has been sporadic.  She got a little cold last week, and also has a tooth just millimeters from braking through.  The last couple of nights I have been up with her quite a bit, and she decided to start her day at 5:30am.  A little early for me, but whatever.  So, I'm tired.  And when I get tired, I'm even more forgetful and scatterbrained than usual. 

I needed to get to the store to get some groceries.  So, we were off to Smith's.  Abby brought a book in the car that she can draw in with a dry erase marker.  When we arrived at the store, she had managed to color all over her arms, legs, and little on her face.  And I was out of wet wipes.  So, she would have to walk around with that stuff all over for awhile.  Oh, yeah, and I'm pretty sure I forgot to comb her hair this morning.

I'm desperately trying to stay on a budget lately, so grocery shopping requires more prep work and more time in the store.  I have to make sure I get the best price on every item, and add up every item placed in the cart to make sure I don't go over my budget.  I realized about 10 minutes after we entered the store that this was not going to be easy. 

When I finally got to the check out, I was very frazzled.  I was nervous about having more groceries than I had cash for, so that was what I was totally focused on.  Meanwhile, Abby was throwing several items on the belt, and the cashier was trying to have a conversation with me.  But I was still only thinking about money.  When the total came up, I was $1 over my budget.  So, I asked the cashier to take a few candy bars out.  The lady behind me heard and said "oh, I have a dollar." To which my response was "oh no, it's only candy, don't worry about it"  But of course she insisted.  I was so frazzled and embarrassed.  I thanked her, and nearly ran out of the store.

I know that lady didn't have a clue as to the horrible day I had been having (or maybe it was totally evident on my face), but her offer of a dollar was just the tender mercy that I needed.  I didn't NEED those candy bars (but I really, really wanted them), and on the way out to the car I realized that in my tired, frazzled state, I had forgotten about a couple of coupons I had intended to use, and how I probably could have scrounged up enough change, or that I had wanted to take off the items Abby had been sneaking onto the belt.  If I had thought to do any one of those things, I would have had just enough money.  But I didn't.  I think I needed to see that people can still be kind.  Yesterday I saw this horrible news story about a 4 year old girl who wandered away from her Mom at a Deseret Industries, and later was found in the Men's bathroom with a sex-offender.  When you hear stories like that, it's easy to lose faith in human decency.  So, I'm glad that this lady helped me.  Of course, by the time I got home, I was feeling so bad because I was worried that I didn't thank her enough, and I think I was a little rude to the cashier when she was trying to talk to me.  I was so distracted when she was trying to talk to me that I didn't really give her my attention and I can't even remember if I responded to some of her questions.  Instead of focusing on how embarassed I was, or whether I was rude, I decided to pay it forward.  It's like that comercial for some insurance company, where a person does something nice for someone, and another persons saw and decided to do something nice for some one else, and so on.  I want to remember to take every oppurtunity to help someone out.  All the time I find myself thinking "someone should do fix that" or "someone should help that person out" and I rarely realize that "that someone" could be.